What is more important?

A lot of times i wonder, what is more important, I guess I should wonder, I guess thats what people mean when they talk about setting priorities and all. But most of all I think, what is the most important thing? I dun really think about this many times, but when I do think, I don't like the idea that I do not really have an answer.

Four years ago, I was thought to be a piece of yes, shit, generally. Except probably my mom and all, who well, in any case will never think anything else. She even likes me singing. Five years before that, I was a brialliant kid who had just cleared an India level competitive exam to get into my new school which selected some 25 students in India and all. No they were not the 25 brightest kids in India, I can tell you that. Some of them are really good, I can tell you that too. Very few others though are like me.

So about nine years after I left my home for school, I find myself in this office. Last four years were dream come true in terms of success and all. Yes they had there parts of boring and interesting things, but over all when I look back, it was a good time to be in.

Now though, it has gone the full circle it seems, but I still have the confidence sometimes, it is loosing grip though, that I can do anything. Probably I too am going to be shut down in the office building with the crap life, that I see all around. I really wanted to break it through. I think I can, but I dont think so much these days. I am bored to death.

I am in an office, I dont want to be for very long. If they decide to take me in permanent basis, I'll have abt double the money in my pocket, but I really dun thnk i want to be here for long, Its not the work, not the people. I just don't feel i can belog here. I know stuff like that sometimes, or atleast I like to think I know. Like I knew it when i went to college that this was the place for me. The coolest place I could be in. I really didn't think I could ever belong to IIT, and I didn't want to after I went to that place (and no, grapes aint sour at all this time around).

So thats whole load of crap I know it doesn't make much sense. But before I sign off, I'll leave you with this:
These are my people, doing what they want to do, a gaurantee for satisfaction for life that they did what they thought they could do. The concept is really interesting, have a look at their site, I'll write more about this in the next post, if I don't forget.

I like their tag line most :

TEMPOSTAND - park your music here

I dun know who claims the naming of this startup, but it sure is snappy, if that is the right word. They've released an album recently, no they are not a band, they are an online music company of sorts. Take a look http://www.tempostand.com/

Book Reviews (of sorts)

Well, yes, i've been keeping busy. Lately I thought I would always have something to do when I have nothing to do which can be called work. And well, as it happens, I dun know if it is office or it is just something inside me, I have stopped thinking most of times. I dun want to think. It is a depressing thing to happen if u could look at it from the first-person perspective. And infact one day I actually thought I was depressed. But well, the boreness of things just doesn't let it happen, keeps reminding me, it doesn't matter.

have had quite a few arguements with friends abt this one. But I still think, at some level nothing really matters. It doesn't matter so much if u die a great scientist or a great priest or a small beggar on the street where the scientist lived. But death is a great leveller, it also doesn't matter so much if I did something which was to change the things around the world, life will continue to be as pathetic as it has always been, ever since eve and adam ate that stupid apple.

Its not me who says so, it is the old Benjamin who thinks so too. Yes I am talking about animal farm, after the rave reviews I got of the book, there was no doubt in my mind this is going to be my book. It just so happened that it wasn't. But well, it doesn't matter so much, as the wise donkey would say. All u need to do is to look at the bigger picture, the wider spectrum, so the donkey said, I have been here before any of you was born and will be here long after you, and life will continue to be as bad as it was. Benjamin being one rare high point in the book, the book, I found quite predictable and that takes away half the fun of the book for me. No spoilers here, but I think it needs to be read once atleast, there are many other things in the book which are good and some others which are great. I was in love with the horse, Boxer. 'If napolean says it, it must be correct' And 'I will work harder'.

But I said I've been busy, and yes, at one time I was reading about 5-6 books. I finished three by the end. The second one being utterly depressing 'angels and deamons'. I will not be able to completely express my feelings because of the utter deepness of those, but wtf does this dan brown guy think? And well, if u've read the da-vince code, which by default u must have since u r reading this post which is in english, you will already have pretty good idea about this book too. But I am really not in mood of spending any more time abt this book, except saying, if u have anything else that you can do, even if that is watching star plus 9 PM stuff, I'd say do that. Its pretty much similar stuff.

Anyways, the main point of writing the post was the Peter Pan. This is single most fascinating stuff I've read in a long time, since Cat's cradle I guess. Absolutely fantastic. Yes, u may call it some kids stuff. But the book is something. And I like the author's style of telling the story. The story moved like a picture in front of you. The subtle stuff is really put in a subtle way. Don't we want to be kids forever, dont we have no choice but to grow up. Didn't our parents want the same.
Finding Neverland was a deserved tribute to the author. A great movie for the author of great book. I am not going to read some more of this guy called Peter Pan in Kinsington Garden, not expecting as good stuff here, but want to give it a try.

I'll leave you with this, I could have said some more abt other books that I am reading. Including the House of Mr Biswas which I have been reading for some time now (If u have seen a really slow reader, divide his speed by two, makes my speed). And it is a real good read after the initial depressing stuff. I mean after Mr. Biswas starts to grow up, it is a real cool book.
Freakonomics, is good in parts ofcourse, as I may have pointed out earlier, the authors are a lil obsessed with themselves. And the Palm Sunday book that I bought after Vonneguts's death is still has only a 100 pages read.

Thank an electron

And so it goes.

A month and a few days.

Nothing that one does. Nothing that one doesn't do.

When time has passed, there is nothing that one can do.

And there is nothing that I really want to do about it.

Today I will tell you a story. No I haven't thought which story I wud tell, but I felt like saying that I will tell you a story and so I said that I will tell you a story.

Do you know how many electrons are there in this world? Well probably that is a tough question. So lets ask this, TI says thank an engineer. There are posters all over saying thank an engineer for whatever you have is because of an engineer. Yes, thats basically because this is a engineering company and so is bound to say such things. Just like a hospital, if they decided to say something like that would say thank a doctor. But well, whats going on in the mind of a manager in this engineering company? Thank a manager probably, after all they are the ones pushing the engineers to get to work. As Prof biswas would say 'engineers are lazy'. Yes they are. And the intelligent ones have a lot of value associated with their laziness too. Intelligent engineer is basically an engineer who thinks he is intelligent or is intelligent enough to make people feel that he is intelligent.

So, well that was not the point. The point was something else, which I forgot. Yes, so what goes in the mind of a manager. He is the one running the show. Engineers, and there are tons of them all around are just pieces on the chessboard. Some pawns some queens some others somewhere in between. But pieces all the same. Who is playing the game then.

Thank an Engineer.
Thank a Manager.
Thank a Teacher? - somebody who taught?
Thank a Parent - without a parent we would all be basically some evaporated stuff. THank a mother.
Thank a Sweeper. who motivates us to work.

Thank an electron.
does that sound something familiar. We always forget that we walk with our legs and that there are things without which we would not be so happy before giving all the credit of life to the brain. We always forget that construction site with tons of workers but yes thank an architect.
Electrons are the most hardworking things on earth and they are all working day and night for us, and well, do we ever think about their sacrifices?
An electron leaves his parent nucleas and goes randomly runnin around all the time, from here to there for doing simple things which translate into our aTV working and we say, thanks to steven spielberg for the movie, where would you see the movie even if spielberg made it?
Thats something to think about.
Was I going to tell a story. Yes I was, but not really in a mood. some other time may be. some place else.